I listened

Change and growth isn’t easy. It is one thing to talk about it, and to think about it, but it is another to take action. Taking action is hard. It isn’t just setting aside time to work on changes that I want to make, it is all the mental and emotional roadblocks that come up […]

Writing is me

Writing saved my life. When I was growing up in abuse and chaos, the fact that I could write down my true feelings in my journal literally saved my life. I didn’t talk to my family, friends, or tell anyone about my experiences. I hid it, and hid all my feelings about it. I only […]

I am ok!

I am ok now, and I will be ok in the future. I feel good today, after a couple weeks of self doubt and being unmotivated. Now I know that these negative feelings will come, and then they will go. They are like waves on the beach. I just need to watch them roll in, […]

Art is truth

There is a meaning, expression, sadness, hope and a beauty that comes to life when I paint. There is a power in it. Thoughts and dreams that don’t have words yet, have forms and colors. These forms and colors are what I paint. They are my future, my past and my present. They just are. […]

I will write!

“What do you know about empowering women? You can’t pass yourself off as an expert if you are not! I don’t think your idea is going to work.” These are the words I heard a little over a year ago from a coach at a very reputable coaching firm when I presented my idea of […]

Moving on

When my life first started to unravel I decided the answer was to move to Redondo Beach which is close to Los Angeles.  I had lived there until I was 7 years old and hadn’t been back. But when my daughter wanted to see UCLA on her college tours, I booked a hotel there.  When […]

I am rejected

I am scared of rejection.  I like being liked and approved of, especially from those I care about.  So, in writing about my childhood I am scared that my brothers and sisters will reject me. I am scared that they will call me and yell at me.  I am scared that they might leave nasty […]

Denial

I was born old.  I am the youngest girl of 6 children and was I born with a strong will. My family used to say I was 5 going on 40.  At a young age I tried to understand my family dynamics but the only thing I ever felt was utterly confused.  Why was my […]

Finding me

So, I always hear the term “find yourself”, and I wonder what that means.   I know that I feel like I am on a journey to find the real me,  but I am sitting right here so how far do I have to go, and what am I really looking for?  Am I looking for […]

I am ok

I laid on the couch unable to move.  My daughter looked at my sheepishly, and asked quietly. “Are you okay mom?”.  I nodded and went back to binge watching Sex and the City.   Either I didn’t remember many of the episodes or I had never seen them.  They were good!  Carrie living an amazing life […]

To be nude or not to be nude, that is not the question.

    So, on Instagram today @girl_unfiltered asked the question of how celebrity nude selfies effect young women’s self-esteem.  So, I asked my 19 year old daughter this question as she was getting ready to go out with friends.  “What?”  she said as she looked through my walk-in closet to borrow some jeans.  I asked […]

The equation of marriage: 1 + 1 = your life.

Marriage.  It is a wonderful, miraculous state.  The institution of marriage.  Institution sounds so cold.  And marriage is anything but cold.  I have never been a relationship girl, I grew up with parents that didn’t like each other and stayed together anyway.  It wasn’t always that way for them, they were deeply in love when […]