womens health
Rewiring my Body
I am in the midst of rewiring my whole body, so it is not attracted to things that will hurt it. It is a journey back to myself and learning that the love I fought so hard to get was […]
womens health
Taking the Plunge
The past can’t touch me now. It is over, and I am helping my body understand that. When my body is in the moment, my brain can’t keep me trapped in my hurt because there is no hurt in the […]
womens health
Healing my Body, Healing my Soul
The present moment is the only place that I can truly feel Love I used to look at my body from the outside in. How I appeared to others was more important than how I felt inside. I would starve […]
womens health
My Second Chance
It does not escape my consciousness how lucky I am to live the rest of my life being the mom, friend, lover and person that I always wanted to be, and be around people that reflect my love back to […]
womens health
I don’t feel sad anymore
I felt like there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t handle the pain of not being seen and loved. I felt like I was inadequate because I would cry hysterically or get angry in reaction to someone treating […]
womens health
When the Impossible, becomes Possible!
I was putting myself out there, but the difference this time was that the people around me saw my strength and determination rather than my faults and weaknesses. Since the beginning of this year, my focus has been yoga and […]
womens health
Being the ‘One’
I am going to focus not on finding the ‘One’, but being the ‘One’. I am going to follow the love that comes my way with an open heart and kindness for however long it lasts. So, this will be […]
be yourself blog body positive boundaries daughter drawing empty nest family life coach marriage midlife womens health
You don’t FIND love; it’s already there.
I am slowly changing from the awkward, self-conscious and hurried woman that I was just a few short months ago into a woman who closes her eyes in yoga poses and forgets there are other people in the room. “This […]
womens health
The Rest is still Unwritten
I was stressed at work, stressed in my marriage and my daughter who was the one bright light in my life, was preparing to go off to college. I felt lost and empty. I stopped and asked the ocean, ‘Is […]
#timesup art be yourself blog boundaries change daughter domestic violence empty nest family inner critic marriage midlife mindfulness womens health
The Truth is revealed in Lies
Why would someone announce over and over that they never take their wedding ring off to their spouse? ‘I never take this off!’ He would say as he showed his hand to me, as if I had asked if he […]
be yourself blog body positive boundaries change domestic violence empty nest inner critic life coach marriage midlife mindfulness relationships sober womens health yoga
Underneath the Shame
It is one thing to be empathetic, but another to not feel my own feelings and instead try and feel someone else’s. So, in individualizing myself I am feeling all the pain that I never allowed myself to feel. It […]
womens health
She is my Mother
She is my mother, and I only have one! I miss her. I miss her every day. As crazy as that sounds, it is the truth. I hope that she found some happiness in her life, even if I wasn’t […]
womens health
Our journey chooses us
Some people call me brave for leaving my marriage and starting a new life, but for me I had no alternative. I didn’t see taking this journey as a choice, I saw it as the only way. Some mornings I […]
#timesup be yourself blog body positive boundaries change domestic violence inner critic marriage midlife mindfulness relationships sexual abuse sober sobriety womens health writing yoga
Do you trust your body?
My body wants to tell me its story but can’t express it in words. So, I don’t have to understand why it wants me to cry, because it is a cry from long ago before I had the capability to […]
be yourself blog boundaries change domestic violence empty nest family friends inner critic life coach marriage midlife relationships womens health
Do you know when you are triggered?
I don’t have to feel dirty just because someone brought their dirt to me. It is not mine to take. Confidence happens over time. It isn’t like I can read a book or have an experience and suddenly I am […]
be yourself blog boundaries change domestic violence drawing family inner critic life coach marriage relationships
Defending my boundaries
I developed coping skills which made me the person that I used to be, and for a long time I thought those skills actually were my personality I had a dream last night that I moved into a beautiful new […]
be yourself blog body positive boundaries change empty nest family inner critic marriage midlife relationships sobriety women womens health
My first year of being a divorced woman
The struggle within me to change and fix myself manifested into relationships where I was trying to fix the other person. So, I am working on being kinder to myself and creating a safe space of acceptance within me, for […]
be yourself blog boundaries change empty nest family midlife women womens health
Toxic Relationship Rehab: Show up!
On Friday I was the only one to show up to the 4:00 Yoga on the Beach class. As I walked up I saw the petite french instructor stretching on her mat in the sand with the ocean waves glistening […]
blog change empty nest family inner critic life coach relationships
Changing Toxic Patterns is hard
I see how my own actions and energy attracted exactly what I didn’t want to attract. I don’t have to run away anymore. I don’t have to stuff all my emotions down so that I can’t feel them in order […]
womens health
Practice doesn’t make Perfect, it makes Present
Everything that I thought was going to be, is not going to be. It is going to be something different, not better or worse, but different. And I owe it to myself, and the people that I meet to be […]
womens health
The Way Out
I am sharing my story because I feel compelled to help others out of the lonely place where I once lived. When I left my marriage I was running away from pain. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t […]
womens health
I Deserve Love
It is Saturday morning, the end of my third week of getting up at 5AM and practicing meditation and yoga before I start my finance job. I have heard that it takes 21 days to make something a habit, and […]
womens health
It didn’t start with me
These last 2 weeks have been some really hard internal work for me. Normally when I feel this uncomfortable in my body I push myself to workout incessantly. But I haven’t done that this time. I have been sticking with […]
womens health
Open to Love
It is Valentine’s Day, and it is the first time in over 20 years that I don’t have a Valentine. By that I mean in the traditional sense of a man being my Valentine. This time last year I had […]
womens health
Being my own Best Friend
I thought that ‘being present’ would be kind of second nature once I started doing it, but it isn’t. It is hard work to be in the present moment. Because in the present moment I have new emotions that I […]
womens health
Lust is a Survival Emotion
Since I have been home for almost a year, one would think that I have processed all the hurt from my divorce, and that I am ready to move forward in my life. But the truth is, while I have […]
womens health
Owning My Power!
It’s raining today. I am sitting on my bed with the window open and I can feel and smell the cool, fresh air. I can hear the sound of the raindrops on the palm trees, street and parked cars. It […]
womens health
My relationship with Me
When I wake up every morning my ‘to-do’ list is there waiting for me. And I am not talking about a list written on a piece of paper, or in my planner. I am talking about my ‘to-do’ list in […]
womens health
My Journey to the Present
This year I have decided to learn more about meditation and put it into practice in my life. The reason I want to do this is that sometimes my thoughts race about the past and the future, and it puts […]
womens health
I am not crazy!
So, it is 2021. The crazy, tumultuous, deadly 2020 is officially over! When I look through photos of myself over the past year, I see a woman who was pushing through her feelings of sadness and putting herself out there […]
womens health
All I want for Christmas…
It is almost the end of 2020. A year I will never forget. The year that life as I once knew it, changed forever. And I am not just talking about the pandemic. This year I decided to change everything […]
womens health
Getting to the other side
I left a toxic relationship a year ago, and just like when I was drinking alcohol and stopped, it is taking a while for my body to recover and adjust to a new normal. I have come to realize that […]
womens health
I am Addicted.
So, I stopped drinking alcohol almost 5 years ago. Was I addicted? I don’t know. All I know is that I am shy by nature, introverted, and I prefer one on one deep conversations to being in big groups. So, […]
womens health
Now What?
OK, so now what? We are in the midst of the second lockdown due to Covid-19 in LA County. When I walk to Riviera Village in Redondo Beach for my evening dog walk there are no longer couples and friends […]
womens health
Stay home for the Holidays
This is the first Thanksgiving in history that we have been told to stay away from our families. Do not gather, do not mingle, do not share in person, is the message we are receiving. Such an opposite message from […]
womens health
My body doesn’t lie
My divorce was final in April and I was excited to be legally free, even though we parted ways last November, this was the official end to our union. It is good to have my own life, and set my […]
body positive boundaries friends relationships sober sobriety womens health
Are you judging your Sober Friends?
I used to drink a lot some nights. Usually when I was confused and uncomfortable. I was very shy as a child, and even through high school. I was awkward, so I didn’t talk that much. And when I did […]
be yourself blog body positive boundaries change inner critic life coach writing
Are you feeling unworthy? Read This
This morning I woke up to rain and wind at the beach, I was cold and I wanted to drink my coffee indoors with a blanket wrapped around me. But my doggy had other ideas and wanted to go for […]
writing
My journey to 4000 Friends!
4 is my lucky number. This week I reached 4000 followers on Instagram. I normally don’t post about reaching milestone numbers of followers, but this is special to me. The 4000 coincides with me being in Los Angeles a year, […]
writing
Attraction isn’t logical
This week I cried tears of frustration. I am frustrated with my body for being attracted to men that are wrong for me. My type is good looking, tall, emotionally unavailable but sexually very available. Haven’t I learned my lesson […]
writing
Learning to value me
I took Thursday and Friday off work, not because I had any big vacation plans but because I have only taken 3 days off my finance job this whole year. My perspective is skewed because I have been working from […]
writing
Shame dies in the light
So I am sitting on my balcony across the street from the beach with the sun rising and a cool breeze, but I still feel warm. Last night I went out in shorts and a tank top and I wasn’t […]
writing
The space between
Lately I have been feeling anxious. I feel like I want to grab on to something to ground and stabilize me. I am single and living alone. Sometimes I walk around my apartment and talk to the walls so I […]
writing
Everything will be ok
I was sitting at the outside patio of HT Grill in S Redondo Beach with some friends drinking my decaf coffee. The waitress was getting ready to leave for the evening as it was late, but even through her mask […]
writing
Never is a hard word
Relationships change slowly over a long period of time, and then action is taken that makes a break up look like a hasty decision. Last October was the last month I was together with my Ex-husband. We were both contemplating […]
writing
Life will never be the same
The fall is my favorite time of year. Maybe it is the excitement of school starting again, football season, and cooler days. I always get a burst of energy in the fall. This fall will be different, not only because […]
writing
No one but me
This is my first summer living in Los Angeles. It is hot! And what I wasn’t expecting was the humidity. I am never one to stay indoors on the weekends but yesterday afternoon after I went in the pool to […]
writing
My mother’s gift
My emotional changes are like waves sweeping into shore and then out again. Some days I barely think about my past life of being married and living in Portland Oregon. Other days I feel nostalgic and sad and I can’t […]
writing
It’s hard, but I am grateful
How I felt yesterday, is not how I feel today. I feel like my wants, needs, and desires change from moment to moment. It is a slow unwinding of years of pushing for something that wasn’t right for me, letting […]
writing
My journey to a dog walk
I woke up this morning to fog and drizzle. I always write my blog on my balcony and I debated about staying inside when I saw the fog. But I put a blanket in my Adirondack chair, made some hot […]
writing
A year ago, I changed my life
It was a year ago, only a year. July 25th 2019, was my first art show. I announced in May on Instagram, to my friends, to my family and to anyone that would listen that I was having an art […]
writing
I am my art
It is mid-July, all the stores, hair salons, restaurants, and most everything else shut their doors in Los Angeles due to the pandemic in mid-March. That was 4 months ago. I was scheduled to do my art show, ‘Begin Again’ […]
writing
I took a chance
So a month or so ago the lockdown was starting to lift. Restaurants and bars started to open, stores opened their doors and once again put welcome signs out on the sidewalk, nail salons and hair dressers opened their doors […]
writing
My Independence
It is July 4th weekend. Independence Day. Our country is so young compared to European countries, we are really just a baby going through growing pains. I recognize how fortunate I am to be a woman in America. I am […]
writing
I have faith
So, I received an email from RAW Artists that they don’t know when they will start having their shows again. This is the organization that scouted me on Instagram last October when I was moving to Los Angeles and asked […]
writing
I am ready
So, today I am getting a puppy. I have wanted a french bulldog for years, and now I am finally getting one. He is due to arrive at my house around 1:00 today. Even though I have wanted one for […]
writing
I am guilty
So I think I have been guilty of what I tell other people not to do. I am focussing on what I don’t have, instead of what I do have. I am so fortunate to be in this beautiful setting […]
writing
I am transformed
Life is not meant to be static. I was not meant to be the same person from the time I was born until I die. Experiences shape and change me, my choices change me; sometimes for the good, sometimes not. […]
writing
I am Beautiful
I am changed. Events change people, and this quarantine has changed me. I didn’t think I had it in me to change anymore than I already have this past year, but I guess I did. I moved to Los Angeles […]
writing
I Found Peace
I think I am going to miss quarantine. There is something about the simple silence that speaks to me. As I sit out on my balcony writing this blog at 6:30AM I can hear the ocean waves, the birds chirping, […]
writing
My New Normal
In 2 days it will be 2 months since I have worked in the office. At the beginning of March our manager called us into the conference room and handed out key fobs so that we could work from home. […]
writing
I had the power all along
So this week I received an email that my divorce has been finalized. I am no longer married. I am divorced, single, available, whatever the term is for someone who is no longer legally bound to someone else. It has […]
writing
The Universe Needs Me
So, normally when I am done painting for the day I put my paints back in their buckets, clean up the palettes, and wash the brushes. I had been working on 2 paintings when the pandemic started, and I immediately […]
writing
‘Feel’ is not a 4 letter word.
I used to put on my shorts and tank top and walk across the street from my house to the beach in the evening. I would walk in the waves and see how far out I could go without getting […]
writing
Alone Time
In November of last year, I left my home in Portland Oregon. When we first moved into that house, I cried because I loved it so much. We had lived in a 1950 ranch house before, and this house was […]
writing
Sober Reality
Today is March 28th, 2020. Four years ago today I made the decision and the choice to stop drinking alcohol. I became Sober! Why? There is not one clear answer to that question. Up until that point, I had used […]
writing
Home Alone!
Last time that I went to get my hair blown out at Drybar I complained that they didn’t get my curls exactly right. I like my bangs to swoop with no curl, and then medium size curls on the sides […]
writing
Fear is a Choice
I took the day off work yesterday. I felt like I needed to catch my breathe. Between the stock market volatility and the virus, and preparing for my art show and my divorce, I was feeling overwhelmed. I needed just […]
writing
Don’t Panic!
I am not panicking. My screen is red and I click the minimize button so I don’t have to see the market going down. The market doesn’t like uncertainty, and the coronavirus is an uncertain entity. But, I have been […]
writing
No Regrets
Did I waste my time? That seems like it is always the question when leaving a marriage, especially after 20 or more years. Everything ends at one point or another, so if I say that I wasted my time doing […]
writing
Living in the Gray Area
So, I think my coffee cream went bad. Is it supposed to be like whipping cream? I could walk down to the convenience store that is half a block from my home and grab some fresh cream, but I don’t […]
writing
New Beginnings are Black and White
So here I go, RAW Artists – Natural Born Artists asked me to come back and be a part of their Premiere Show in downtown Los Angeles on March 18th. It’s a Wednesday. I will have to work at my […]
writing
I want more!
I attended a Masterclass yesterday about diving deep into what is blocking me from going to the next level. Part of the reason I moved to Los Angeles is to reach a bigger audience with my art and writing, and […]
writing
The Privilege of Choice
Last week was hard. It started out on an eerie cloudy Sunday. They weren’t just clouds though, it was a thick impenetrable wall of white surrounding the city. I went for a walk on the beach that morning and the […]
writing
It is up to me what happens next
Today I turn in my Oregon driver’s license for a California one. Another part of my past falling away from me. I feel like a snake shedding its skin, layer after layer of the person I used to be is […]
writing
My Best Decision
2017 was a year of discovery and information gathering for me. I attended networking events, showed up at a variety of Meet Ups, and went to dozens of book readings. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, but […]
writing
Time does not heal everything
What mends a broken heart? If time was the answer then all broken hearts would be mended eventually, but some people never heal their hearts. So, I don’t think its time alone. My broken heart is about the past, of […]
writing
Something New
I did something different this New Year’s Eve. I knew I wanted to do something to celebrate all my changes in 2019, and bring in 2020 with a commitment to more changes, so I googled New Year’s Eve workshops in […]
writing
Healing me
Healing takes time. I noticed that I am going in waves. Some days I wake up and I feel like I am 25 years old, and I jump out of bed and can’t get down to the beach fast enough […]
writing
My Queen unveiled
I finally took my large Queen painting out of the box that she was transported in from Oregon to Redondo Beach and hung her up this weekend. I am not sure why it took me so long to do that. […]
writing
I have become
I began this year by asking my Instagram friends what their word for the year was, and then drawing an illustration of them with that word. I ran a contest, and whoever commented on the Instagram post, received an illustration […]
writing
Healing myself is a gift
I am in a transition. I believe I did my job as a mother because my daughter is self sufficient and has her own life at 21 years old. She will graduate college soon and start her journey of finding […]
writing
Reinforce me
I lived in the Marina District in San Francisco in my 20’s. I moved there a few years after a massive earthquake devastated it. The earthquake knocked buildings off their foundations, created massive craters in the streets, and caused fires […]
writing
My Turbulent Flight
“You are now free to move about the cabin” , we have all heard this saying when we fly. In other words until you hear that ding in the airplane, don’t get out of your seat because you might fall […]
writing
Place is important
‘Place is important!’, the organizer confirmed as I shared with the ladies in the midlife group how Redondo Beach, California had a pull for me. I joined this group 3 years ago in hopes of gaining some clarity on the […]
writing
Accepting who I am
This is the last blog post I will write from my home in Portland Oregon. This is the last Saturday I will spend sitting in my bed in this home looking out the window to the blue grey morning sky […]
writing
Retreat Revisted
I don’t think I really understood what a ‘hot springs’ was until I went to Brietenbush Hot Springs for the first time a few months ago in March. It is a naturally occurring hot tub in the earth. There are […]
writing
Out of my comfort zone
In February of this year, just 8 months ago, I thought I was too old to attend a workshop on how to use Instagram to grow my art business. I am 54 years old, and I remember dreading showing up […]
writing
My anxiety is coming with me
Do you ever have anxiety? I mean stomach churning, headache causing anxiety? I remember having it as a child, but I didn’t get it as much as an adult. Not because I was immune to getting it, but because there […]
writing
I am just getting started
It is 7:15AM the day of my LA Queens Art Show. I went to bed at 2AM after going out with my daughter to explore the LA nightlife. But I am not tired. My heart is beating with a feeling […]
writing
I am worth it
I was tested this weekend, as Friday night I went to get a pedicure after work and I did not feel like painting when I got home. I was like an unruly child throwing a tantrum in my head and […]
writing
The Queen always wins
My dad was born in England but never liked it, so as a little boy he would tell everyone that he was going to America. He met my mom when he was 19 years old, they got married and had […]
writing
Change is beautiful
I am at the Oregon Coast this weekend. My husband, daughter and I have been coming here every summer since we moved to Oregon from California over 20 years ago. We used to rent a house that had no Wi-Fi […]
