WOMANWHY – Page 4 – Me First Unapologetically

The Cake of Life

by Peta SklarzUpdated on October 20, 2021October 3, 2021

When I first stopped drinking there was a deafening silence. It was as if loud music had been playing in my head drowning out my thoughts and all of a sudden someone turned the music off. But without the alcohol I slowly began to hear my own voice again. And it was angry! I was angry at the people around me, and angry at myself.

Comparison stole my Joy

by Peta SklarzUpdated on November 9, 2021September 26, 2021

I can’t change the past and the choices I made, or the thoughts that I had about myself, but I can embrace the joy that has been with me all along. Somewhere along the way I decided that I wasn’t good enough to feel that joy anymore, but I am slowly learning that I am

Where have I been?

by Peta SklarzUpdated on November 10, 2021September 19, 2021

There is a whole world of touch and affection that I have yet to feel, and I want to be present in my body for it and let go of thinking about what it means. My experience last summer opened me up to being present in romance, and going with my feelings rather than being guarded. Even though it ended and I had a hard time letting go, I still smile when I think about him. I would have never experienced his blue eyed lustful gaze if I didn’t walk away from someone who saw me as a chore to deal with. He was part of my transition out of my past, and into my future.

I am ‘still’ me

by Peta SklarzUpdated on November 9, 2021September 12, 2021

Last week my daughter came to live with me. After almost 2 years of living in Southern California alone, I am no longer alone. She is the last piece in the first part of my journey. Her coming here marks the end of the generational toxic family pattern in our lives.

It made me realize that the past five years have been all about escaping from the clutch of toxic situations and becoming aware of them. The heavy lifting is done, and now starts the real work of healing that insecure me underneath.

A Leap of Faith

by Peta SklarzUpdated on November 9, 2021September 5, 2021

If you had asked me on that day two years ago when I boarded the plane alone for a one way trip from Portland to LAX in hysterics if I thought my daughter would move here, I would have hoped it with all my heart, but not believed it.

I am not Selfish

by Peta SklarzUpdated on November 9, 2021August 28, 2021

It is not selfish for me to do the things that feel aligned with my true self. This is who I am, and I can’t be anyone else without faking it.

My Daughter Arrives

by Peta SklarzUpdated on November 9, 2021August 22, 2021

Now my daughter joins my journey in Southern California and starts her own. I am so excited to see what this next chapter of both our lives will look like.

My Purpose

by Peta SklarzUpdated on November 9, 2021August 15, 2021

I was meant to write and tell the story of my family who hid their whole lives, and died with their secrets. I am here to take away their shame and show their light through my words and my eyes. Because through all that they suffered and endured in life they had hope and a belief that a better life was possible, and that is the energy that they passed along to me.