Accepting who I am

This is the last blog post I will write from my home in Portland Oregon. This is the last Saturday I will spend sitting in my bed in this home looking out the window to the blue grey morning sky […]


I want it

I woke up last night because my thoughts and heart were racing.  Was I making a mistake? I am leaving the city I have lived in for the past 20 years to go somewhere that my heart wants to be.  […]


Retreat Revisted

I don’t think I really understood what a ‘hot springs’ was until I went to Brietenbush Hot Springs for the first time a few months ago in March. It is a naturally occurring hot tub in the earth. There are […]


Out of my comfort zone

In February of this year, just 8 months ago, I thought I was too old to attend a workshop on how to use Instagram to grow my art business. I am 54 years old, and I remember dreading showing up […]


My anxiety is coming with me

Do you ever have anxiety? I mean stomach churning, headache causing anxiety? I remember having it as a child, but I didn’t get it as much as an adult. Not because I was immune to getting it, but because there […]


I am just getting started

It is 7:15AM the day of my LA Queens Art Show. I went to bed at 2AM after going out with my daughter to explore the LA nightlife. But I am not tired. My heart is beating with a feeling […]


I am worth it

I was tested this weekend, as Friday night I went to get a pedicure after work and I did not feel like painting when I got home. I was like an unruly child throwing a tantrum in my head and […]


The Queen always wins

My dad was born in England but never liked it, so as a little boy he would tell everyone that he was going to America. He met my mom when he was 19 years old, they got married and had […]


Change is beautiful

I am at the Oregon Coast this weekend. My husband, daughter and I have been coming here every summer since we moved to Oregon from California over 20 years ago. We used to rent a house that had no Wi-Fi […]


Finding a better me

My husband and I moved to Portland Oregon over 20 years ago with our 3 month old daughter. We were living in San Francisco and both working full time, but after we had our baby we wanted a different lifestyle. […]


My logical side ruins the fun

I feel like when I write I use one side of me, and when I create art I use the other.  They are in many ways opposing sides.  When I am drawing I could be in the middle of a […]


My time is gold

I will never ask anyone to change again. Looking back I can’t believe I wasted so much time trying to get other people to change so that I could feel better. So, how does that work? If someone changes their […]


This time, I’m doing it for me

I sat in my backyard crying into my phone. I was at my wits end. I felt like I was grasping at straws to try and make sense of my life, so I called my mom. My mother and I […]


I had the key all along

This week, I broke through a self imposed barrier. I built a fence around me years ago mostly for my own protection. I lived my life based on survival, and not based on being fulfilled. The restrictions I placed on […]


I listened

Change and growth isn’t easy. It is one thing to talk about it, and to think about it, but it is another to take action. Taking action is hard. It isn’t just setting aside time to work on changes that […]


I’ve changed

Yesterday after work I had an appointment to get my nails done. There was an accident, so traffic was delayed for over an hour which is rare for Portland. I tried to find a clear road to get over the […]


The Queens saved me

What if you couldn’t ask questions if you were confused? What if you couldn’t defend yourself if someone was treating you unfairly? What if you couldn’t cry when you were sad, or laugh when something struck you as funny? Growing […]


I have some questions

She had large green eyes, long sandy blonde hair and stood tall at 5′ 8″. She signed up with Barbizon Modeling Agency to become a model at 16. They made her cut her long locks into a shoulder length bob. […]


Is it my turn?

I remember sitting at my dining room table as a kid as my parents asked my brothers what they wanted to do with their lives. My mom and dad would listen to their answers and offer advice. I listened too. […]


Do you approve?

I used to write frantically in my journal trying to figure other people out. Why was my mom ignoring me? Why were my sisters not on my side? Why was my boss picking on me? Why was my husband not […]


What can I do?

I want to connect with women to help them feel more empowered, and also empower myself along the way. I feel the need in our society for the healing of women, and I also feel the calling in myself to […]


Making it work

I used to love to watch “Project Runway” when Heidi Klum was the host of the show. Before Netflix, and all the streaming services, we used to buy DVDs of complete seasons of TV shows. I had the first 7 […]


Creating my reality

My brain likes routine and predictability. But if my routine gets too predictable then it rebels. So, is there a happy medium? Is there a way that I can challenge myself enough to make my life interesting without sending my […]


Writing is me

Writing saved my life. When I was growing up in abuse and chaos, the fact that I could write down my true feelings in my journal literally saved my life. I didn’t talk to my family, friends, or tell anyone […]


Things happen in LA

Why do I like Los Angeles so much? As the plane descends, I see a layer of smog coating the city, and I smile. The air is so clear and clean in Oregon, so it is nice to see the […]


Women are beautifully powerful

So, I did it. I reserved an art gallery space for my first art show. It is going to be on Thursday night July 25th. I researched and found the perfect spot that will let me have the whole space. […]


Innocence in Sin City

It is warm, about 95 degrees. I am drinking lots of water to stay hydrated. My body is used to the moisture in the air, not the dry heat of Las Vegas. My hotel is at the end of the […]


Do you like me?

Why do I care if people like me? Why is it so important that other people think that I am ‘nice’? Is this something that is taught to girls at a young age? I don’t know, but I do know […]


I am ok!

I am ok now, and I will be ok in the future. I feel good today, after a couple weeks of self doubt and being unmotivated. Now I know that these negative feelings will come, and then they will go. […]


But I don’t feel like it

I am bored with myself. This morning I feel like I have nothing to say. I feel like turning my brain off and thinking about nothing. I don’t want to be challenged, I don’t want to plan, I don’t want […]


Art is truth

There is a meaning, expression, sadness, hope and a beauty that comes to life when I paint. There is a power in it. Thoughts and dreams that don’t have words yet, have forms and colors. These forms and colors are […]


When did I start to feel so small?

When was it that I decided that I had to jump through hoops so that people would like me? When did I decide that I wasn’t good enough just how I am? I have been thinking about these questions this […]


My escape

Love is the most important thing. I love my husband and my daughter, they are my core, they are my earth. Without them I feel like I would be floating in the air. They tether me to the ground, and […]

blog writing

Walking into the fog

Last weekend I went on a retreat in the mountains with no access to technology. No phone, no TV, no internet. When I went back to work on Monday a part of me was still in the mountains. I wasn’t […]


No IPhone, No Extra

I have been afraid of looking inside myself and being completely overwhelmed by all that is there. My fear has led me to look everywhere and anywhere but inside of me, at my own feelings and emotions. I have figured […]


I accept my power

I had a dream last night that I was alone and running from something. The first part of my dream I was sitting on the lawn of the house I grew up in, and the rest of my dream I […]


It is just like riding a bike

I am slowly changing into a different person. I feel it. My old critical reactions to situations come into my mind sometimes and before I can voice the negative words, the feeling floats away. The feeling fades, the words don’t […]


But now I know

It is snowing here in Portland Oregon today, and I am grateful that I am in my warm house. As I get older I feel like I can’t handle the cold as much as I did when I was younger. […]


Learning to fly again

I am in midlife, or at least I think I am. I am 53 years old, so does that put me in the midlife category or maybe the post midlife category? I hear some women as young as 35 saying […]


I will write!

“What do you know about empowering women? You can’t pass yourself off as an expert if you are not! I don’t think your idea is going to work.” These are the words I heard a little over a year ago […]


The 10 Year Challenge

So, what is the challenge part? That hopefully we look and feel better than we did 10 years ago, or at least that we haven’t completely gone off the rails. I got curious about it when I had a hard […]


I am not a quitter

So, I slept for 12 hours last night, and I just starting writing at 11:00 AM. I usually am almost done writing by now, but today I am slow moving. The sun is out and my cat is laying on […]

be yourself blog boundaries

Creating my story

This year is no different than any other year. I still have my history, my faults, my stubbornness and my tendency to withdraw into my own world. Except this year it is worse. It is worse because I can’t use […]

art be yourself blog change daughter writing

The Way of Life

I believe that people come into our lives for a reason. I am attracted to some people immediately just by being in their presence.  That is how it was with Kathlyn and me.  As soon as I met her,  I […]


Rejection, and the Power of a Moment

Why am I attracted to people who reject me? Why am I attracted to people who reject me? Why do I feel the need to prove myself, and make them see me in a different light?Why does it become so […]


The perfect marriage

The night I met my husband, I had been moving all day and he offered to come over to help me set up my furniture in my new place.  He helped me put the bed together and we got in […]


The saga of the ice cream

 I arrived in London almost a week ago with my 20 year old daughter.  We settled into our 3 story 2 bedroom 2 bath Airbnb in Knightsbridge, London just a short walk from the famous Harrods Department store. We scouted […]


It’s not all bells and whistles

I used to feel like I was that little metal ball in a pinball machine being hit in different directions by outside forces.  I would try and stay in the game and maybe get some points on the board while […]

#timesup blog change women writing

words create boundaries

I have a body that everyone can see, it is my physical form.  But then I have boundaries that no one sees but my soul.  My boundary is invisible to everyone but me.  My boundary is there to protect my […]

80's blog change dancing women

In the moment

So, I went to an Old School Throwback Jam concert last night, which was basically an 80’s dance party.  It only took up 1/2 of the concert arena because they couldn’t sell enough tickets to fill the whole place. But […]

daughter family mother women

I am ok

I laid on the couch unable to move.  My daughter looked at my sheepishly, and asked quietly. “Are you okay mom?”.  I nodded and went back to binge watching Sex and the City.   Either I didn’t remember many of the […]

#timesup change mindfulness women writing

Be still

I was exhausted , hungover, depressed.  But I kept it all inside, and wondered why I felt so bad.  None of the people in my life had asked me to do any of the things I did for them.  I […]

#timesup change mindfulness women

Being a woman is complicated

Being a woman today is complicated.  But life is complicated.   I think men and women are equally confused as to what is acceptable and proper nowadays.  Some men have been brought up in households that they were taught they […]

change mindfulness women

Letting go is not easy

2017 was a transition year   2017 was a transition year.   It was a year of letting go of a long time relationship that wasn’t working anymore.  I spent  many sleepless nights last year going over and over our […]

#timesup change women

I’m not angry

Why should you be reading this? Why should you be reading this? I don’t claim to be a fantastic writer, but I do have something to say.  I want to change the way we talk to each other about women […]