Why would someone announce over and over that they never take their wedding ring off to their spouse? ‘I never take this off!’ He would say as he showed his hand to me, as if I had asked if he […]
It is one thing to be empathetic, but another to not feel my own feelings and instead try and feel someone else’s. So, in individualizing myself I am feeling all the pain that I never allowed myself to feel. It […]
My body wants to tell me its story but can’t express it in words. So, I don’t have to understand why it wants me to cry, because it is a cry from long ago before I had the capability to […]
I don’t have to feel dirty just because someone brought their dirt to me. It is not mine to take. Confidence happens over time. It isn’t like I can read a book or have an experience and suddenly I am […]
I developed coping skills which made me the person that I used to be, and for a long time I thought those skills actually were my personality I had a dream last night that I moved into a beautiful new […]
The struggle within me to change and fix myself manifested into relationships where I was trying to fix the other person. So, I am working on being kinder to myself and creating a safe space of acceptance within me, for […]
I see how my own actions and energy attracted exactly what I didn’t want to attract. I don’t have to run away anymore. I don’t have to stuff all my emotions down so that I can’t feel them in order […]
This morning I woke up to rain and wind at the beach, I was cold and I wanted to drink my coffee indoors with a blanket wrapped around me. But my doggy had other ideas and wanted to go for […]
2018! Where did the year go? I have been reflecting a lot about where I was at the beginning of this year. I know I was in a completely different place. But where? I was scared for sure! Every new […]
Last week was hard. I had conflicting emotions and my inner dialogue would not be quiet. I felt like there was a parrot in my head repeating all my conversations back to me. I felt like I was starting to […]
I have given up everything. No alcohol, no toxic relationships, no negative self talk. These were my addictions. These addictions were predictable and safe. They had a definite pattern. The pattern started out with me feeling vaguely unworthy and out of […]
This time last year I joined a midlife women’s group in search of some answers to my dissatisfaction with life. I was sure that other women my age were struggling too, so I was surprised to find the group only […]
I can’t choose what life throws at me, but I can choose how I respond to it. No one can get into my head and tell me how to feel or how to act. Even though sometimes it feels like […]
Sometimes I feel like I just want to fail at something, so I set up a challenge and then purposely break my own rules so that I can feel bad about myself. I recently set up one of these challenges […]
As I walked to the photography studio, my stomach had butterflies and I felt a little nauseous. Why was I so anxious? I searched my mind for the cause of my anxiety. Everything had been going well so there was […]
When my life first started to unravel I decided the answer was to move to Redondo Beach which is close to Los Angeles. I had lived there until I was 7 years old and hadn’t been back. But when my […]
So I have learned an important lesson this week that maybe I should have learned a long time ago, and that is that forgiveness is about me. I always thought forgiveness meant that I was forgiving someone else for their […]
Oh, did you know that I have all the answers. If you are having difficulties I can listen, be there and make you feel better. I am loyal, and I will use all my energy to help you change your […]
Am I damaged? I used to think that I was, at the very core of me damaged or bad. And I used to use all my energy to hide my damage to others. I wanted to appear normal and fit […]
Does anyone care that I am a nerd now? That I went from happy hours to book readings, margaritas to tea. That I went from late nights, to being excited to go to bed early so that I can get […]
I was born old. I am the youngest girl of 6 children and was I born with a strong will. My family used to say I was 5 going on 40. At a young age I tried to understand my […]
So, a week ago I bought drawing pencils, paint and paper to tap into my creative side. Mid week I went back to the art supply store to get more pens, colored pencils and paper because I got on a […]
So, I had this week off my financial job for spring break and my daughter and I flew to Los Angeles at the beginning of the week and had a wonderful time in the LA sun surrounded by beautiful beaches […]
This is my personal blog (since 2018) where I publish a post weekly so that you can follow my journey to finding my voice, creating boundaries, and ending toxic entanglements in midlife. In the last 6 years I have changed everything about myself, and I have a completely different life that speaks to my authentic self.
My first love is my writing, but through my writing I rediscovered my artistic side and over the last several years I have sold my original art, and pre-covid I did art shows.
My first art show ‘The Queens – Awakening the Feminine Energy within’ was on July 25, 2019 at Nucleus Gallery in Portland Oregon.
My second art show “LA Queens – the beautiful women of LA’ was on September 21st in Santa Monica.
My 3rd art show was December 18th in Downtown LA. I was invited to be a part of the RAW – Natural Born Artists show.
Due to the pandemic my Art Shows are on pause.