Being a woman is complicated

Being a woman today is complicated.  But life is complicated.   I think men and women are equally confused as to what is acceptable and proper nowadays.  Some men have been brought up in households that they were taught they are superior to women, then they get out in the world and don’t understand the backlash they get.  This is how their father acted and what he taught his son, why are people mad at him?  We need a reeducation and a change in mindset, and we need patience.  These thoughts and ideas won’t go away overnight.  Our society has been male dominated for so long, I don’t believe men are going to give up their power without a fight.  With all the news coming out about predatory men and their improper behavior, men are  back pedaling but they will regroup and try to maintain their power.  That is why these realizations about negative male behavior and how it affects women cannot just be a movement, it has to be an adjustment in mindset for men and women.  For example, when you take someone to court for an injustice and you win,  you get the satisfaction of winning that battle. But did the person who lost change their mindset?  Did they really learn that they did something wrong, or did they just chalk it up to having a bad lawyer or losing a certain amount of money and suffering embarrassment?  Do they change their behavior going forward?  My guess is, in most cases not.  But that is what we need.  We need a change in the way we approach situations, a change in the way we see other people.  Instead of being defensive, we need to try to see the other person’s point of view and where they are coming from.  It is a hard uphill battle, as our society has little benefit  in everyone living a happy and healthy life or even staying married and keeping families together.  Think of all the businesses that specialize in people that are unhappy, and if there is a divorce that means 2 of everything that has to be purchased for each household which is actually good for our economy.  Everyday there is a voice whispering to do the right thing and be patient, while so much of our society shouts at us to make money, be beautiful at all times and leads us to think that we deserve immediate results and rewards.  These messages overshadow the people that are being hurt along the way in a race to get to these things that never fully satisfy.   Encouraged by these messages are the powerful men who have hurt and dehumanized women because they feel entitled to take what they want at the moment that they want it.  They have been led to believe that they deserve immediate gratification because, because?  Good question, they don’t even know why they feel they are entitled.  It is just the way it is and it has to change. The #timesup movement is long over due but we have to do more.  I am glad that the men who have raped, terrorized, and belittled women are being called out.  They need to be called out and it is good that it is public so all the men, especially younger men realize that this is not acceptable behavior.  But how did we get here?  What are the thoughts, and behaviors that we have  accepted without realizing it that got us here?  This didn’t happen overnight and it will not go away overnight. We need to update our foundation from which we make our decisions.  If we remodel the inside of our house and don’t fix the problems in the foundation we are wasting our time because the house will eventually crumble.  

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